|
The child family elton shirui roxanne lovelies elaine jiaxin sereneH tingting weitheng yujie brothers and sisters enhui huiling! jia yi jiejie jinhao jiahui jonnie ryan shoufu songde ticketing sister tong xiang tris yunn tian
Credits Base code:OHsaygoodbye Image: sxc.hu |
Saturday, December 02, 2006 ( @ 10:22 PM ) hai. now is realli serious le. he's in critical stage at the moment. and even mama n meimei got to stay to pei ah gong. jus in case something happens or he nids something.. hai.. if onli i wasnt in VJ band.. den i will hav the jing shen to pei mama.. hai.. it was after the band prac tat i knew ah gong was hospitalised.. mei mei sent me a msg. she said tat ah gong is hospitalised. and she said tat it could be best if i could pray for him. does tat means tat meimei had accepted the fact tat God listens to our prayers, sorrows, pains and requests??? i realli wonders.. hai... ben lai i don wan go the skit prac n jus wan to go for alumni band one lo. in the end, i got to go hospital. hai. i noe i am jus so emo.. read msg le, den jiu jus burst into tears.. and i noe tat vera saw me cried. ha. guess she must be shocked ba. hai. i jus cant help me. i'm afraid. realli afraid of losing ah gong. i love him. but i simply jus cant say it out.. now all i can do is pray n pray... i donno. donno whether is it good for me to pray tat he will recover, or pray tat he will continue to live, or pray tt he can be relieved from all these pains.. and does tat mean tat ah gong will leave us if i pray tat he will be relieved from his pains.. hai. i realli cant bear to see him suffer.. ppl.. pls help to understand me.. is not tat i don wan my ah gong to be saved as a christian, is i cant. cos my family simply rejects it.. not even a pastor or some other christians to pray for him beside his bed. so how can i jus help him...i realli realli donno.. hai. oh no. i jus wan to cry. cry real loud. i jus cant see my pa suffer. suffering as he might lose his pa..i nv see pa so xi xin de take care of ppl one lor. not even when ma is sick. papa so nice leh. he sat beside ah gong den he held ah gong's hand when he raised his hands up due to reflexes de problem. i noe pa is v sad now.. so i don dare go chao ta. and i don dare to cry infront of him cos it will onli make him feel worse. i guess mama's company will be the best cure. but ah gong nid her more. i realli wish for a day. a day where ah gong n ah ma can go work again. and come to my hse for dinner another time.its so long. so long since this had happened..and i jus hope this can forever happen. how? whenever i see ah gong becoming weaker and weaker day by day, i feel so sad. tears jus start rolling in my eyes..i always recall. how strong ah gong is in his factory. he can move so many boxes of noodles and he can bring all of us go playground when we are still young. buying us ice creams, laughing at my fear of piercing ears, the way he smoked (even though its bad la) and he shake his legs while watching tv. all these are jus things tat he cant do now. he even had difficulty turning sideways to slp. and he cant speak clearly anymore. somemore, he always blanks out. how? i jus so worried. so scared. rarrh.. seeing ah gong like tat, wat is all that i'm suffering now as compared to him... friendship, stress, studies, tiredness, etc.......... all these are jus tiny winy stuff... and i am so affected by them alr?! i am jus so weak, so useless...argh... i cant imagine lor. what if i lao le, and i am suffering from the same thing as ah gong. how long can i tahan? i tink i will jus die in one day.... hai........ to all my frens ar.. if i recently become v men men bu le hor, or grouchy, or v bo chup, pls forgive me.. cos too many things are jus running thru my head...sorry guys..... but rest assure, i noe i will learn. learn to adapt, learn to manage, learn to forget. and after all these, i will be an even stronger gal... :') 0 comments |